Do they talk behind your back? Can't help but talk bad about people? (2023)

Do they talk behind your back? Can't help but talk bad about people? (1)

It may seem thatspeak ill of peopleIt is not something negative, we might even think it is part of socializing, having talking points and it gives it a touchspicyto the talks we have. However, if you are someone who is used tobadmouth people behind their backs or someone is badmouthing youthen this article is for you.

I will tell you the reasons why you should not worry about what people think or say, in fact we will see that it is something positive.

On the other hand, if you are a person who tends to talk bad about others, then this is for you too.

Why is talking bad about people counterproductive?

Talking bad about people and behind their backs is more harmful than it seems.

For example, let's imagine a person who is speaking ill of you, let's ask ourselves why he does it?...

You could tell me it's because maybe he doesn't like you very much, or because he didn't like something you did, however, if you think about it carefully, before all that,The first reason why a person speaks ill of another and behind their back is because they have nothing else to do.I know it sounds harsh but it is so and I have to say it.

Usually those who talk about other people are those who have a lot of free time. They are people who do not have something to concentrate their mind on and spend their valuable life time talking about others; what they do (and don't do), what they say, how they act, how they dress or how their life is

When you have nothing to do; that is, you do not have objectives, challenges, or projects to achieve, you concentrate on any topic that comes across you by chance, that is to sayyou are someone reactive.

If you have nothing better to focus on, you wait for what happens, or what other people say or do, instead of acting with intention and awareness towards your personal well-being.

When you have ideas, challenges and projects to achieve, you don't have time to spend on things that get you nowhere. Talking about people is one of those things, since it's meaningless, because it doesn't make you better, or improve your life in any way.

SoWhy waste your precious time and your amazing mind on such banal and inconsequential topics?? Don't you think it's a waste?

The bad you find in people is your reflection

When we speak ill of someone, we are not tarnishing that person's image, we are actually tarnishing our own image. This is something that very few people can understand.

Each negative word pronounced is actually a reflection of what we are, believe or think.

If you don't like something about someone, it's because you are or have something of that.It's like your mirror.

What affects you or you don't like someone, is because within your subconscious you have something of that that does not leave you alone. That is why you give it so much importance, because if it were not so important, you would not waste a second on the subject, and you would focus on what really enriches your life.

How to avoid or stop speaking ill of others?

After this, I think you'll have an idea of ​​what to do if you tend to talk bad about people. You simply need to take second place what others are doing or saying.

Everything you hear or find out about people's lives, including famous people, is of no use to you, because it does not make your life better in any way. Consider it as something irrelevant, and keep the focus on your life project.

Think that each person decides what they are going to do at every moment. So if someone decides to act a certain way or say anything that comes to mind, that should not be a reason for you to act accordingly.

It is as if you are waiting for others to do something, and until then you are going to react to give your point of view….

Tell me, why do you want to give your comment about what others do or say? How does that benefit you? Don't you think it's a complete waste of your time?

Betterbecome the person who takes action, and if someone out there (who has nothing better to do) is keeping an eye on your movements, then let them. That person gives you too much importance and that is why they cannot avoid commenting on what you are doing.

Realize thatIt is very different to be the person others talk about because you do "things" than to be the person who talks about others because you have nothing else to think about, orhe does nothing of his life.

Choose to be the person who has ideas, and projects underway. HEthe Doerthe one everyone talks about, instead of the one who just spends her time talking about what others are doing while watching them progress.

Choose to be the person who walks, and not the one who watches others walk and talks about their steps.

People talk bad about me behind my back, what do I do?

As I have mentioned in previous articles,we are all freeto do what we want or need to do. If someone decides to act in a certain way, that should not be a reason for you to react, or for you to oppose or start giving your comment about what you think is right or wrong.

What's more, if someone talks about you, then you don't have to worry or defend yourself either; you don't have to deal with them, you don't need to!

Think that for that person you are important in their life; you are influential, and it means that you are doing something that causes him noise, and that is why he is alert to what you do.

Do not waste your time reacting to the stimuli of others. keep focus onwhat is worth the most in your life; in what if it generates spiritual, sentimental and material rewards, and not in people who will only be distracting in theachievement of your goals.

Let those who talk about you do what they need to do. As long as they respect your physical integrity, forget about shutting up mouths or trying tochange opinions to please them. You don't need it. None of that will make your life better.

Simply book acontinue your wayyenjoy the present. Minimize within yourself the voices of people who have nothing good to contribute. Do not consider them, do not listen to them. What they think or don't think of you doesn't matter.

You've only got one life; don't waste it on things that don't lead you to anything. Think that perhaps those people still do not have the personal growth that you have. They don't yet know what you know; understand them and keep moving forward. Possibly at some point they will understand why you do it.

Channel your energy towards what really matters and makes sense

Now you have some good reasons toleave that bad habit behind.

When you are tempted to speak ill of other people, avoid it at all costs. Don't waste your time on trivial issues.

If you are asked your opinion of someone, reserve your generic and unbiased views and change the subject. Instead ofspeak ill of others, better talk about all thoseideas that you will put into action, of projects you are working on. Show your feelings and ways of thinking and don't give too much importance to what people do.

Create a positive and enriching experience when you talk to people. Something that leaves you with a good taste in your mouth, and not afraid that someone will go and tell all the bad and negative things that you are saying.

In any case,If you are going to talk about someone, then make sure that they are positive things and that they contribute; He talks about his abilities, his talents, his charisma, the support and all the help you have received from him...

Speak to the best of your ability and be impeccable with your words.. If you do, you will soon see that everyone has good and salvageable things. ANDIf for some reason, you find that you don't have anything nice to say about someone, you better keep quiet., given thata person who does not speak ill of another is actually speaking well of himself.

Show your education, your quality as a person, your values, your integrity and your ability to see the positive in people.

If you avoid conversations that are only intended to tarnish someone's image, you will be unintentionally creating an impeccable image in the eyes of others.

Similarly, if someone talks about you, allow them to. They are just words about what they believe about you, and not what you really are. So please, don't worry too much about it.

If you think about it carefully,it would be more worrying if people didn't talk about you, because it means that you do not matter, that you do nothing, that you go unnoticed, or that what you do or say is inconsequential.

When people talk about you, it is an indication that you are moving, and that is much better than remaining immobileand waste your life doing anything meaningless, like talking about people.

When people are talking about you and are looking forward to your moves, then you will know that you are moving forward. You are making noise and that is why they are turning to look at you, because you have stolen their attention without meaning to, and that is not a negative thing.


Now tell me, what do you think?What is your opinion about talking bad about people and behind their backs? What do you think of the people who do it and enjoy doing it?

We read in the comments. 😉


What is it called when someone talks bad about you behind your back? ›

Gossip, which is talking about someone behind their back, is wrong. And wrong actions have bad or negative consequences. It will always inevitably reap wrong, negative and/or hurtful things. You do reap what you sow.

Why do people talk bad about others behind their back? ›

It's a sign of their own immaturity, low self-esteem, insecurity, or jealousy. There are even those that love to gossip to the point that it's almost a hobby for them. When someone talks about you behind your back they're often looking for acceptance, as an attempt to fit in.

What do you call a person who talks bad about others? ›

scandalmonger. noun. someone who tells people bad and shocking things about other people, especially things that are not true.

What are the signs that someone is talking about you behind your back? ›

8 signs that clearly indicate that someone is talking behind your back about you
  • 1.Their personality looks different.
  • The environment calms down as soon as you appear.
  • They look very uncomfortable.
  • Fear is reflected.
  • Talk about others with you.
  • Do not make eye contact.
  • 7. " Protect" themselves.
  • You just feel it.

Why do people gossip about you? ›

people gossip for a variety of reasons: To feel superior. Many people who are insecure about themselves find temporary relief in judging others. Knowing something that others don't can feel empowering, and sometimes, that's all an uncertain gossiper needs.

Why do people talk bad about other people? ›

People gossip to feel like they belong to a group. They use speaking badly of people as a way to undermine rivals and establish alliances. When two people speak ill of a third, they form a kind of alliance. To gossip is to try to be inside of possible attacks of opponents.

What do you call a person who talks behind your back? ›

badmouth Add to list Share. Other forms: badmouthing; badmouthed; badmouths. If you badmouth someone, you say unkind or critical things about them. A good friend won't ever badmouth you behind your back.

How do you act around people who talk behind your back? ›

Don't take it personally. You can deal with people talking about you behind your back by remembering that their words are a reflection of them, not you. You can't choose what others say about you, but you can choose how you react to it. Write off gossiping as something the other person needed to do for themselves.

Is gossip a form of harassment? ›

If the gossip is detrimental, have their manager or a member of your HR team speak to the individual. Malicious Gossip. If the employee is purposefully sharing false information, it could be considered harassment, discrimination, retaliation, slander, or defamation.

What is it called when someone talks negatively about you? ›

Oral defamation is called "slander." If it's in writing, than it's called "libel."

Why do people like to badmouth others? ›

Badmouthing others can bring social power and may make the speaker seem more confident. Prosocial behavior can also be a route to social success, however, and comes with little risk of long-term penalties.

What is an example of bad mouthing? ›

Idiom: bad mouth (someone)

My mother said that if she catches me bad mouthing anyone again, online or offline, she'll take away my cell phone. — I'm in so much trouble. I think my boss overheard me bad mouthing him today in the lunchroom.

What to do when someone catches you talking behind their back? ›

Apologize swiftly, Knight said, and take the middle ground; admit fault, but do not belabor the point. In your apology, let the person know you intended the message for someone else, Knight said. Tell the person you are embarrassed and sorry that the message was sent to them by mistake.

How do you deal with people who gossip about you? ›

Here are three things to do when someone else is gossiping about you.
  1. Don't listen if you can't act. I adopted an ethic years ago that I always use to set a boundary with those who want to pass along information about another person. ...
  2. Address the right issue first. ...
  3. Discuss the process problem.
Aug 26, 2022

How do you confront someone who is gossiping about you? ›

If you want to confront the person spreading gossip about you, Robert Willer, a researcher at Stanford University, suggests you "Approach the person in a sympathetic, nonconfrontational way, so that you can win their sympathies." Offering your perspective can help.

What is the root of gossip? ›

Gossip comes from the Old English word god-sibb, or godparent. It was a term given to a woman's close female friend after the birth of her child, a word reflecting the powerful bond between them. But somewhere along the way, it gained a bad connotation.

How do you shut down gossip? ›

If someone comes to you with some kind of gossip or rumor or toxic talk, a very simple, “I have absolutely no opinion about that at all,” is an easy way to stop the conversation in it's tracks. It's a refusal to engage. Boom, done, that's it. And don't respond otherwise.

Are people who gossip jealous? ›

Sometimes, the main reason behind gossiping is envy and jealousy. When someone is envious of someone else, he might gossip about him in order to let people hate him.

What is the psychology behind bad mouthing? ›

The Basic Elements of Bad-Mouthing

Joe's power may largely stem from fear and intimidation, an approach to social interactions often framed as the Machiavellian side of the Dark Triad (see Jonason et al. 2015), a cluster of anti-social traits that typifies a manipulative and intimidating social strategy.

What do you call a person who talks about everyone? ›

gossiper Add to list Share. Other forms: gossipers. A gossiper is someone who talks eagerly and casually about other people. If you like to spread rumors and hear the latest news about your friends, you might be a gossiper. When you gossip, you talk enthusiastically about other people's news or business.

How do you deal with haters and gossips? ›

Confront the source of the rumor directly.

Say something polite yet direct, like: "Hey. I want you to know that I don't appreciate the things you've been saying about me. Please stop." Then, just walk away—this person doesn't deserve your time. Ignore any insults you hear as you're walking away.

What is it called when someone talks about you indirectly? ›

Other forms: innuendoes; innuendos. Speaking in innuendo is when you say something indirectly — often of a hurtful or sexual nature. Innuendo in Latin means "to point to" or "nod to." When you refer to something indirectly, you point at it without mentioning it, making an innuendo.

What are 3 characteristics of gossip? ›

Gossips are desperate and immature people. They need drama, love conflict and are so deeply unconfident they feel compelled to tell and spread false accusations and stories about others in order to feel a sense of superiority, or to be able to play the ultimate role of the victim.

What are the three types of gossip? ›

Social scientists study positive, negative, and neutral forms of gossip.

What is the difference between bad mouthing and gossiping? ›

Gossiping gives you the power to make other people see the world the way you do. By badmouthing someone, you can manipulate relationships and damage people.

How do you deal with bad mouthed people? ›

  1. Don't let their bad behavior control your response. When someone is saying negative things about you, it's hard to fight the urge to step in and defend yourself. ...
  2. Stay focused on what's important. ...
  3. Take measures to make it stop.

What is it called when someone bad mouths you? ›

On this page you'll find 202 synonyms, antonyms, and words related to bad-mouthing, such as: blame, castigation, censure, curse, curses, and defamation.

What does the Bible say about bad mouthing others? ›

It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.

Is bad mouthing a form of harassment? ›

If your comments are severe or frequent, you could be charged with harassment. In some cases, you may also be sued for defamation if you make false statements about someone on social media. A case of an employee bad-mouthing another employee can quickly get out of hand.

What is a word for nasty mouth? ›

synonyms for foul-mouthed

bawdy. boorish. crass.

What are the psychological effects of gossip? ›

These include a negative impact on the person's self-confidence, work or school performance, home life and mental health. People who have been the subject of gossip have been shown to develop depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and eating disorders. Plus it is never just the person that is targeted that is affected.

Is venting gossiping? ›

Venting is sometimes necessary to productively express frustration about a person or a problem—but gossiping isn't. Gossip is spread maliciously while venting relieves pent-up frustration. Gossiping is ill-intentioned and mean-spirited and can cause destruction of a person's humanity or reputation.

What does the Bible say about gossip and slander? ›

Proverbs 20:19 – “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.” Proverbs 25:9-10 - “…don't reveal the secret of another, lest he who hears it reproach you, and the evil report about you not pass away.”

What does the Bible say about gossiping? ›

Here are but three scriptures that speak to us against letting ourselves fall into gossip and slander and other harmful words. Colossians 3:8: “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.”

What are signs of gossip? ›

Here are seven ways you can tell if you gossip too much.
  • The People Around You Love Drama. ...
  • You Can't Wait To Tell Secrets. ...
  • People Stop Sharing With You. ...
  • You Have Trouble Coming Up With Other Conversation. ...
  • You Feel Better About Yourself When Sharing Info. ...
  • People Come To You With Juicy Information. ...
  • People Are Talking About You.
Oct 10, 2017

What is an example of gossip? ›

Gossip is informal conversation, often about other people's private affairs. He spent the first hour talking gossip. There has been much gossip about the possible reasons for his absence. If you gossip with someone, you talk informally, especially about other people or local events.

What do you call someone who talks about others behind their back? ›

Definitions of gossiper. a person given to gossiping and divulging personal information about others. synonyms: gossip, gossipmonger, newsmonger, rumormonger, rumourmonger.

What's another word for bad mouthing? ›

synonyms for bad-mouth

On this page you'll find 47 synonyms, antonyms, and words related to bad-mouth, such as: belittle, criticize, cut down to size, dis, disparage, and dump on.

What to do when someone insults you behind your back? ›

7 Ways To Put The "Best Friend" Who Talks Behind Your Back In Her Place
  1. Keep Your Interactions Short. ...
  2. Confront The Gossip Without Accusing Her. ...
  3. Stop Sharing Your Secrets. ...
  4. Spend Some Time With Your Real Friends. ...
  5. Give Her Space. ...
  6. Drop A Casual, Tactful Comment. ...
  7. Address The Issue In Front Of Friends.
Jul 19, 2017

What is it called when someone talks down on you? ›

Condescension is an insulting way of talking to other people, as if they were stupid or ignorant. Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect.

What do you call a person who spreads rumors? ›

Definition of gossiper. as in gossip. a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others the exact nature of the relationship between the two coworkers was a topic that kept the office gossipers too busy to do any work.

What is a smart word for insulting? ›

Synonyms of insulting
  • offensive.
  • outrageous.
  • abusive.
  • offending.
  • vituperative.
  • scurrilous.
  • affronting.
  • obscene.

What do you call a person who pretends to be nice? ›

phoney. adjective. informal someone who is phoney pretends to be friendly, clever, kind etc.

What is the psychology behind insults? ›

Often, insults are also the result of a perceived threat. When we believe that a person threatens or frustrates our plans, we respond by insulting him or her. In fact, insulting a person is a relatively common response when we believe that he or she has violated the social norms and values ​​with which we identify.

What is the best way to handle an insult? ›

Being in the right state of mind is the most important first step of dealing with an insult, because simply being reactionary is playing to their tunes. So, first step is to look at them, calmly or humorously and focus on a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

What is condescending behavior? ›

Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. It is usually intended to make people feel bad about not knowing or having something and it often works.

What do you call a person who is always condescending? ›

patronizing, disdainful, supercilious.

What do you call a person who only sees things their way? ›

In egocentrism, you're unable to see someone else's point of view; but in narcissism, you may see that view but not care about it. Going even one step further, people high in narcissism become annoyed or even enraged when others fail to see things their way.


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